Do You Feel Like Something is Missing?
An excerpt from Transforming for a Purpose By Anita Carman
Questions, questions, questions. They float around in our heads constantly. What will we have for dinner tonight? How will I get this project done by five o’clock? Do I have enough gas to get home? These are all questions that have tangible answers. At some point in the near future, we will have the answers to them.
But what about these questions:
- What is this constant searching I feel in my heart?
- Why do I keep falling in love with the wrong person?
- Why did my mother have to die?
- Am I on my own . . . again?
- Does anyone else feel this way?
Do any of those questions strike a chord with you? They do with me . . . because I asked them all at different points in my life. I am just like you. Our stories are different, but we have all felt emptiness, loss, grief, and the emotion that accompanies all of these—loneliness. If you are feeling any of those things right now, know that you are not alone, but also know that you don’t have to hold onto those emotions.
Often, loneliness is a result of the search for someone or something to complete your life. You feel like something is missing, and you are possibly letting life pass you by while you search for something elusive that seems to vaporize before your very eyes. Or perhaps you think you have already found what will complete you, but you are paralyzed by the fear that you will lose it and be incomplete and lonely again. If you have these thoughts and feelings, you are not alone. Everyone seems to be looking for the perfect mate, the perfect job, or the perfect business or ministry partner. We think, “If only I could find my soul mate [or my dream job or the perfect co-laborer], then my life would be complete.”
GOD WILL FILL OUR NEED
Pop culture is notorious for propagating this idea when it comes to the realm of love. Movies tell us that there is one special someone who will complete us. So-called reality television shows depict single people trying desperately to find their one true soul mate in a whirlwind of dates and competitions. Listen to virtually any radio station, and you will hear someone crooning that we are not whole by ourselves. The list could go on and on. But the point is that everyone seems to be searching for a tangible person or thing to fulfill them.
If we buy into the idea that there is one person or thing that will complete our lives, the absence or loss of them can destroy our sense of direction and send our world into a tailspin. The belief that there is someone on this planet who is essential to complete us or to complete our mission in life also puts unrealistic pressure on other people. Put yourself in the other person’s shoes. Imagine being expected to fulfill all of their dreams, their wishes, their desires. Initially it might make you feel special, but after awhile . . . claustrophobia, disillusionment, and resentment will begin to set in. So is the whole world searching for the wrong thing? Are we looking for something that isn’t possible? God Will Fill Our Need.
The truth is that there is something deep within us that longs to be connected with someone who feels our heartbeat. The fallacy, however, lies in the belief that this connection is only for our personal fulfillment. Genesis 2:15 tells us, “The LORD God took the man and put him in the Garden of Eden to work it and take care of it.” This explanation of Adam’s mission was quickly followed by God’s declaration that, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him” (Genesis 2:18). There are two things to notice here. First, God defined the mission—it was to fulfill His purpose, not Adam’s. And second, God gave Eve to Adam as a “helper suitable for him.” God provided the perfect means to fulfill His mission for Adam—and all of mankind.
There is incredible relief in the belief that if there is anyone or anything missing in our lives that will help us complete our God-given mission, God will fill our need. We are not responsible for deciding who or what we need and finding that person or thing according to our timeline. Just as God provided Eve for Adam, He will provide us.