Gray is Good (Proverbs 16:31)

Our society doesn’t see gray hair the same way the cultures in Bible times did. In those times, gray hair was a beautiful representation of a wise, elderly and much-respected person.

In our day, it is more of a representation of someone who just slows us down. People don’t listen to the wisdom those with gray hair have attained. Our children will be influenced by our culture to think that same way unless we do something about it. I propose that you expose your children to those who are elderly by putting them in a place where they can hang out together. Older people love to be around children and vice versa. Just their being together will help your child build respect for the elderly. Allowing your child to hear them tell their stories and other incredible life experiences will develop in your child an appreciation for them.

In a world that’s trying to figure out how to make euthanasia legal, let’s help our family develop a healthy understanding of God’s love for the elderly, and make sure we invest in their lives.

Parenting Principle

Respect the elderly. You will be there one day.

Points to Ponder

• What elderly person do you spend time with who has given you wisdom?
• How could you develop more relationships with the elderly?
• Are your children learning to respect and appreciate the elderly?

Taken from Once a Day Nurturing Great Kids

Respecting Others’ Boundaries (Leviticus 19:18)

In the second half of this verse we see “the golden rule”: Treat others as we would want to be treated. Loving others as commanded in Leviticus 19:18 goes beyond just doing good deeds. It also means respecting their choices and the boundaries they set up. We respect their right to tell us no. When we do this, two things happen:

1. Respecting others’ boundaries helps us deal with our selfishness. When we are concerned about protecting others’ freedoms, we work against the self-centeredness that is part of our fallen nature. We become more other-centered. There is no selfish gain in embracing another’s freedom to say no. The gain is that we have grown.

2. Respecting others’ boundaries increases our capacity to care about others. It isn’t difficult to love the “lovable” aspects of others. It’s another task, however, when we encounter another’s resistance, confrontation or separateness. We may find ourselves in conflict or not getting something we might want from the other person. So we learn to be empathic and patient with them, loving them as ourselves (see Galatians 5:14).

Taken from NIV Life Journey Bible

The Need for Respect (Genesis 12:10–19)

Life can present a married couple with tough choices. Do you take the promotion at work if it means traveling with business associates who have no scruples? Do you keep having lunches with your friend of the opposite sex if it makes your spouse uncomfortable? The list goes on.

So it was with Abram and Sarai. Famine in the land put them into crisis: move or die of starvation. So the couple relocated to Egypt to find food. But Abram made some poor choices there. Sarai was so beautiful that she was sure to attract the attention of Egyptian rulers who wouldn’t hesitate to kill Abram to get his wife. So Abram told his wife to say she was his sister. After all, it was partly true; Sarai was his half sister (see Genesis 20:12). And Abram did need to survive for the covenant promises of God to come true, right?

According to the prevailing pattern for women in that era, Sarai had no say about the arrangement. But how do you think she felt about a husband who feared more for his own skin than for hers? Could you trust your spouse after being misrepresented as someone you’re not? That kind of betrayal can drive a wedge between a couple that only widens over time.

In the movie Love Story, Oliver tells his girlfriend, Jennifer, “Love means never having to say you’re sorry.” Maybe that’s what Abram thought after telling a lie about his wife. Sure enough, the Egyptians praised her to Pharaoh, and Sarai was taken into Pharaoh’s palace. But God rescued Sarai out of that difficult situation by afflicting Pharaoh and his family with such serious diseases that Sarai was sent back to her husband—and Abram even got to keep the livestock and servants he had acquired in the process.

One problem with never saying you’re sorry after wronging your spouse is that you are then inclined to repeat your behavior. That’s exactly what happened. Some years later, Abram once more passed off his wife as his sister, this time to Abimelek, the king of Gerar (see Genesis 20). And years after that, Abram and Sarai’s son, Isaac, did the same thing with his wife, Rebekah (see Genesis 26). So one wrong left unresolved between a couple only succeeded in perpetuating the abuse, threatening the very calling of Abram to be the father of many nations.

The poor choices that Abram made affected his marriage and his future. A Christian married couple can learn from Abram’s life that choices have long-lasting ramifications. To deal with poor choices, own up to any misuse or disrespect of each other. Deal openly and quickly with the sin; come clean with each other and the Lord, and ask each other and God for forgiveness. Then resolve not to repeat the offense.

Taken from NIV Couples’ Devotional Bible

Expressing Anger (Numbers 20:2–11)

A young, thirsty lion and an equally thirsty cougar arrived at their usual watering hole at the same time. Immediately, they began arguing about who should drink first.

Their argument quickly escalated into rage, and the animals started clawing at one another. However, the fight was interrupted when the lion and cougar caught sight of vultures circling overhead, waiting for the loser to fall. The thought of being eaten was enough for the lion and cougar to end their fight.

Anger destroys people and relationships. Cain, the son of Adam and Eve, committed the world’s first murder when in anger he killed his brother Abel. Today, jails, hospitals, abuse shelters and divorce courts are filled with the evidence of anger’s destructive power. However, anger itself isn’t bad. Ephesians 4:26 doesn’t condemn anger; rather, it says, “In your anger do not sin.”

Moses knew the consequences of letting anger lead to sin. At age 40, Moses became so angry when he saw an Egyptian beating a Hebrew that he killed the Egyptian (see Acts 7:23–24). Then Moses had to flee for his life, remaining in exile for 40 years (see Acts 7:30). Then, 40 years after Moses led the Hebrews out of Egypt, Moses’ anger got him into trouble again. The wandering Israelites complained bitterly about their thirst to Moses, blaming him for their discomfort and hardships. So God instructed Moses, “Speak to that rock before their eyes and it will pour out its water” (Numbers 20:8). Instead, Moses angrily struck the rock with his staff. That disobedience against God cost Moses entrance into the promised land (see verse 12).

Anger in marriage isn’t wrong. In “Anger and a Good Marriage” (Together in His Grace, Heartlight Magazine, September 19, 2005), Byron Ware says that anger is inevitable, and the healthy expression of it is a testimony to the strength of a marriage. “Relationships that don’t acknowledge or express anger are usually fragile, unstable, and anemic,” he writes. “For anger not to be expressed suggests that the couple isn’t secure enough or the marriage isn’t strong enough to handle disagreement.”

Not expressing anger leads to the stockpiling of bitterness and resentment; it leads to cold shoulders and cold wars. On the other end of the spectrum is out-of-control anger that is expressed through name-calling, profanity, belittling, intimidation, character assassination and even physical violence. Both extremes are costly to a marriage, undermining intimacy and trust. At its most extreme, unrestrained anger can cost one or both partners their very lives.

In a marriage, respect is key to expressing anger. When anger flares, respect will lead to a discussion of the anger rather than one spouse swallowing their anger in silence. Respect will also guide the expression of anger so that actions are kept within boundaries when tempers blaze. Respect leads to spouses treating each other as helpers and advocates, not as adversaries. And when that happens, the vultures retreat and no one gets eaten.

—Nancy Kennedy

Taken from NIV Couples’ Devotional Bible